Every year around the holidays, I find myself in the same position: standing in a store, completely blank, trying to figure out what to get the people in my life who seemingly have everything they need. Sound familiar?
I’ve spent years refining my approach to gift-giving, and I’ve learned that the best gifts aren’t always the most expensive ones. They’re the ones that show you actually thought about the person. So I’m sharing everything I’ve learned about finding gifts that people actually want.
The Problem With Most Gift Guides
Here’s my issue with most gift guides online: they’re basically just advertisements. “50 Best Gifts for Dad” turns out to be 50 random products the writer has never actually used or given to anyone. There’s no real thought behind it.
What I’ve found works better is thinking about gifts in categories based on what they actually do for the recipient. Not “gifts for men” or “gifts under $50” but rather “gifts that solve a daily annoyance” or “gifts that create an experience.”
Category 1: Gifts That Solve Daily Annoyances
These are my favorite types of gifts because they show you’ve been paying attention. Everyone has small frustrations in their daily life that they’ve just accepted. Finding a solution to one of those is gift-giving gold.
Think about it: What does this person complain about regularly? Cold coffee? Tangled headphone cords? A cluttered desk? There’s probably a product that solves that exact problem, and they’ve just never gotten around to buying it for themselves.
The key is listening throughout the year. When someone mentions an annoyance in passing, make a note of it. By the time the holidays roll around, you’ll have a list of actually useful gift ideas.
Category 2: Upgrade Gifts
This is when you take something the person already uses every day and get them a better version of it. The beauty of upgrade gifts is that you know they’ll use it because they’re already using the inferior version.
Does your friend drink coffee every morning from a basic mug? Get them a really nice insulated one that keeps it hot for hours. Does your dad use the same worn-out wallet he’s had for 15 years? Time for an upgrade.
The trick is identifying what they use constantly but would never splurge on themselves. Most people won’t buy themselves the “nice” version of everyday items. That’s what gifts are for.
Category 3: Experience Gifts
I’ve shifted more toward experience gifts as I’ve gotten older. The reality is most adults have enough stuff. What they don’t have is time and memorable experiences.
This doesn’t have to mean expensive trips or fancy dinners. It can be concert tickets, a cooking class, a pottery workshop, or even just a promise to take them somewhere they’ve been wanting to go.
The research backs this up too. Studies consistently show that experiences make people happier than material possessions. The anticipation before, the experience itself, and the memories after all contribute to lasting happiness in a way that stuff just doesn’t.
Category 4: The “I’d Never Buy This For Myself” Gift
There’s a category of products that people want but feel too guilty or frivolous buying for themselves. These make perfect gifts because you’re giving them permission to enjoy something they wouldn’t otherwise have.
Luxury candles are a classic example. Fancy kitchen gadgets. Nice loungewear. A really good blanket. These are things people use and appreciate but often can’t justify purchasing when they’re spending their own money.
What I’ve Learned NOT To Do
After years of gift-giving hits and misses, here’s what I avoid:
Don’t buy clothes unless you’re absolutely sure about size and style. The odds of getting it right are low, and now you’ve given someone the chore of returning something.
Don’t buy things that create obligations. A gym membership or cooking class sounds thoughtful until you realize you’ve basically assigned homework.
Don’t buy generic gift sets. Those pre-packaged bath sets or food baskets feel impersonal because they are. Someone at a company decided what goes in there, not you.
Don’t buy based solely on what you would want. This is the hardest one. Your taste isn’t their taste. Gift-giving is about the recipient, not you.
The Real Secret
The best gift I ever gave cost me $15. It was a specific brand of tea that a friend had mentioned loving but couldn’t find anymore. I tracked it down online and got her a box.
She talked about that gift for months. Not because it was expensive or impressive, but because it showed I’d been listening and made an effort for something that mattered to her.
That’s really the whole secret: pay attention, remember what people say, and show that you care enough to act on it. The actual item matters way less than the thought behind it.
Happy gifting.